I Hate The Viral Rose Vibe, Use These Instead

I Hate The Viral Rose Vibe, Use These Instead

You’ve seen the toy–a stubby air suction toy in the shape of a red rose–and your favorite influencer’s surprised face as they lift it out of the box. That vibrator, it’s everywhere. It's on Instagram, Tik Tok, Twitter, your situationship’s close friend’s story. It’s everywhere–except on this pussy. Unsurprisingly, viral videos do not equal an actual functional vibrator and I particularly hate this one. And it’s not hatred for hatred's sake! I wanted to like it! I think it’s hella cute and the design feels accessible enough that folks who’d maybe pass over other vibes would reach for this toy and god knows all I want is more sex toys in people’s hands.

Here’s the thing though, it just isn’t a great toy for me. I, like everyone else on the planet, received one for an honest review. While commonly called air suction toys, these sex toys don’t actually suck! The nozzle circles around a clitoris and small bursts of air creates a pleasurable pulsing sensation.

The Rose vibe has a large round flat surface where the hole for the suction is. It’s way too broad to comfortably sit on my vulva, especially when I’m trying to get it in tight against my body to create a seal so I can feel the air pressure more. The air pressure sensation itself-meh. It’s fine. Not the best, not the worst. However, that small circle round opening? Terrible! Way too small for my body and imagine many people will feel the same. The clit, if ya look at it, isn’t necessarily perfectly round either, making this an awkward hole to shove your bits into. 

Luckily, the Rose Vibrator isn’t the only air pressure toy on the market! Here’s the toys I gravitate to and why they’ve made it to my top-drawer!

Perfect For Partner Play: The We-Vibe Melt 

If you like penetration and want to try a different type of vibrator to use during sex, it is my pleasure to introduce you to The We-Vibe Melt! This toy doesn’t have an overhead like The Womanizer Premium 2 or Satisfyer. The shape makes it easy to hold between two bangin’ bods and the suction is powerful and direct, making sex even better! It’s also app compatible, making it a fantastic partner or long-distance toy!

 

 

 

Memorable Me-Time: The Womanizer Premium 2 

This toy is next level! Air pressure toys aren’t known for stealth, they can be loud, but this one is by far the quietest. I adore the feature that turns the suction off when not pressed against a body, meaning you can pull the toy away if you hear your roommate come home and then put it back and continue jerking off if that was a false alarm. This is also my bathtime go-to! It’s NOT quiet underwater, but it feels like a very different toy in the tub! This toy comes with two different oval silicone heads for the toy so you can pick the one that fits best. This is great news for folks on HRT–although all of these could potentially work for trans folks. Everybody is different and what works for someone might not work with another! 

Traveling And Still Need That Suction Vibe: Womanizer Starlet 3 

Compact and ready to go, the Womanizer Starlet 3 comes in a variety of cute colors and is easy to tuck away in a suitcase. Quiet and waterproof, this is a great shower toy if you’re taking a vacation and need some private time. Not only that, it’s got six intensity levels and I have had multiple personal accounts from dear friends of mine that this is the toy that made them squirt for the first time. 


My First Air Pressure Toy: Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 2

 

This classic air pressure toy is a fantastic place to start if you haven’t played around with suction toys before! It’s got a great handle, making it easy on the wrists and placing directly where it needs to go. While not the quietest, this toy does not disappoint in terms of power! Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 2 has a large opening  that can be a great fit for a lot of different bodies-similar to The Lelo Sila, another air pressure toy with a larger opening!

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