What Is A Soft Dom?
The Queer Guide to Being In Charge (Gently)
There's more than one way to be in charge in your sexy queer relationships. You don’t have to growl, bark orders, or wave a flogger wildly to be a Dom. For those who are interested in power dynamics but want to approach it from a more gently angle, there's plenty of room for you in kink spaces. A Soft Dom is where teasing, topping and tenderness meet.
A soft Dom leads with care. They give orders and aftercare. They say “good job” right before pinning you down. And they understand that control isn't given by force, it's given consensually with trust.
Soft Doms are fully in charge. Their goal is to create a gentle and nurturing space for their subs. Their authority is expressed through affection. Scenes with soft Doms still hold the same D/s (Dominant/submissive) power exchange seen in other power dynamics. A soft Dom is still running the show! Softness does not equal weak, something many queers recognize. Soft and gently doesn't take away the power, it just changes how it's delivered.
Soft Dom Tips We Love:
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Praise first, punish later
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Be clear about what you want while staying soft and connected
- Maintain consensual control while telling your sub what you desire
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Lead with tenderness and be open to intimacy, erotic or otherwise.
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Show love and appreciation for your play partners before, during, and after the scene
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Affirm them like it’s your kink (because maybe it is)
- Be creative and frequent with your affirmations and praises
Ready to Top Gently?
You don’t need a dungeon to play. You just need the right vibe (and the right toys). Our Soft Dom Collection is full of cute, non-intimidating tools built for teasing, loving, and very enthusiastic obedience.
🖤 Fluffy cuffs? Check.
🖤 Heart-shaped paddles? Absolutely.
🖤 Sexy collars, pink rope, and gentle gags? Yes, yes, and yes.